Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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