Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Mom said you looked used
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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