Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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