He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
