Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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