I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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