I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
