we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
