There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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