I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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