I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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