Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
