I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
