Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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