nut hugger
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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