I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
