The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
