Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
