Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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