Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
