he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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