worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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