Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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