he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
