i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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