So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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