Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
