Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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