It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
