Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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