are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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