I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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