): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
