You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
