Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
