I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
