if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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