just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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