their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
