I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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