i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
