So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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