If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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