I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
wow bdsm is so cute
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
