What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
