Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we made out on top of his cat.
she looked like the before picture.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
