Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
