I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
