i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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