I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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